myerstownherald.com

By MOLLY DAVIS
Dear Heidi Montag,
You are disgusting.
In a week where people are donating their time and money to the relief effort in earthquake ravaged Haiti, you are peddling you plastic surgery makeover.
It doesn’t bother me that you had plastic surgery.
If you want to change something about yourself, change it — I’ll be first in line to get a nip and tuck when I feel I need one.
Or two.
But you shamelessly promoting your 10-in-one-pop procedures is gross — especially now.
Open you squinty, over-botoxed eyes and look around.
Make your over-collagened lips speak about something other than you and your mindless endeavors.
You’re on the cover of “People” with the headline “Addicted to Plastic Surgery.”
Which is more ink than you deserve.
But that was not enough.
Then you had to go on every entertainment magazine and defend your surgeries and make clear that you were NOT addicted to plastic surgery.
Anything that gets your frozen face more air time.
The piece de resistance is her religious spin of all these events.
Heidi says she’s uber-religious, and God plays the most important role in her everyday life.
When confronted by an interviewer about God creating us as we are, and asked if He would approve, she came up with this gem:
“I think God gave me a little extra (referring to her self-described large chin) so I could fix it.”
That’s a rather interesting interpretation.
I doubt God gave you a Jay Leno chin so you could hack it up.
For once, your husband, Spencer, has not jumped on the media train wreck that is your life.
Heidi said, “Spencer didn’t want me to have this done. He was afraid for me.” And he should’ve been, because you’re well on your way to looking like the infamous cat lady.
I wouldn’t have been surprised if when you opened your mouth to speak, a strangled “Meow” escaped from the inflated pillow disguised as lips.
Which would have been a welcome change from the usual drivel you spout.